Nice to be Loved!

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On November 5, 2017 in the very early morning my sister Nada was one of several family members and friends to make a two hour drive to participate in the annual Save Your Breath 5K Save Your Breath 5K FaceBook, a run to support Free ME from Lung Cancer.  It was her birthday.

A few weeks earlier Nada and her daughter Betsy had decided to get together a team in my honor.  Pretty nice!  The team was named for this blog, Team polepole.  And then, t-shirts were made for all eleven team members.  Not just any t-shirts, but hand tie-dyed t-shirts with polepolebreathe.blog ironed on each by Nada. Even nicer!

So on that brisk Sunday morning some of us ran and some walked a shorter distance.  While we were raising funds for Free ME from Lung Cancer, we were also showing support for the lung cancer community; those living with lung cancer, survivors of lung cancer, and also honoring lives lost.  It felt special, much like our family participating in the Komen run in my mom’s memory.  Only different.  Different for a few reasons.  First, our team was participating in my honor.  Wow. Second, while there were quite a few runners, there simply is not the same kind of societal support for the lung cancer community.  Humbling. Next year I’ll ask that we run/walk in memory of my dad too. We can now see beyond the stigma and understand.   It’s important that we try to teach others.  Too many are dying (433 Americans per day) because of that stigma.  Another reason that day was special?  My sister’s birthday of course!  I felt honored she chose to spend it in this way.  And honored that so many others did so too.

After the race Team polepole had breakfast together.  The busy restaurant was perfect for our noisy group.  The birthday girl polished off a large platter of strawberry crepes.  We’re in the business of making memories these days, and I’ve great memories of that day from seeing Team polepole and cheering on the runners to the breakfast chatting.

A final note – At the SaveYour Breath 5K I met Dave Eid, sportscaster at WGME in Maine. Dave’s wife Lisa is a fellow ROS1der, and Dave is on the Free ME from Lung Cancer Board.   Just after my grandson finished the race (beating his mom!), Dave had arranged for us to be interviewed: News interview

 

 

Still busy, no pickles!

The hum of the dehydrator reminded me of finding joy in the everyday EVERY day. That reminded me it’s time to share what’s new in my world.

Lying very still, palms out,  light dimmed,  music playing, I glance down to peek at the eighteen needles just before my body relaxes and I feel the energy flowing to my fingertips and toes.  Yup, acupuncture.  Before I know it the half hour is up, Dr. Z is back in the room pulling out the teeny needles, and I have to make my reentry to this world.  My body responds well to acupuncture.  Many years ago it “cured” my chronic migraines.  Eight treatments over four weeks.  Headaches gone, just like that, after years of torment.

When I read that neuropathy is treated with acupuncture, I called Dr. Z. to schedule a visit.  A side effect of my targeted therapy, neuropathy is the mini beast I’m dealing with now.  Fingers, hands, toes, and left foot. None of the descriptions I read prepared me for how it would affect me. Wow.  Much tougher than daily diarrhea was while on crizotinib.  We already reduced my med dosage, so that’s not an option.  Out of my research came  two possible remedies for relief: acupuncture and topical cannabis essential oil.  The oil provides temporary relief. After two sessions of eight scheduled, I can see marked improvement from the acupuncture.  It’s going to work.

No, acupuncture  doesn’t hurt.  Don’t like needles?  Don’t look!  These are just tiny, thin as a piece of hair, and they get poked into your skin.  Okay,  how about gently inserted?  I had to count as he gently inserted them to even know how many there were.  Two on the inside of each elbow, one near each thumb, three on the inside of each knee, two on each ankle, and one in each foot.  I think.  I know I counted 18.  Well really I counted nine, on each side.  Maybe I’ll ask for a phone pic.  That’s taking up two mornings per week for a month.  Then the weather will be warmer and my foot will feel well enough for walking, maybe hiking.

Got the dehydrator for Christmas, a little bigger than the one we lost to the fire, still sits nicely on the counter. So nowadays instead of pickle-making, it’s jerky, venison jerky, and applesauce leather, and best of all? Dried apple peel for naughty Dottie and sweet Matilda.  Who knew goats prefer their apple dried?  Won’t touch a fresh apple, but they go crazy for their apple snacks.  Now Dan has to eat applesauce, apple leather, apple crisp…  You get the picture.  And, Matilda now stomps her foot on her bowl when there’s no apple.  Can’t say “poor Dan” though, he gave me the dehydrator.  Just lucky for him that the grandchildren like jerky.

A few years ago I took a dehydrator to my preschool classroom to dry starfruit.  Shortly after we filled it, one of the students lined all the chairs up facing the dehydrator.  Her plan was to watch it.  Huh.  I must have missed a step in my explanation.  I learned from that day that I would need something to do while the dehydrator was humming along.  I have found a great new hobby.  Combines many things I love and I can do it whenever I want while sitting with my feet up and my dachshunds by my side.  Online classes that are either free or cheap!  There’s all kinds of photography ones, and I’ve always wanted to learn more about my camera and lenses.  Other topics of interest such as drawing and writing are available too.  Why, I might even brush-up (relearn) on French or learn a new language.  All while the dehydrator is humming.

Winter has been wonderful for me.  Dan’s been home most days, working on lobster gear in his basement shop. Our first winter of being home together most of the time.  Really nice.  Soon he’ll be back on the water more, and before we know it, it will be time to move to our Salt Pond camp.

Headed to Dana Farber for my brain MRI, CT scans of chest and abdomen, blood draw, EKG, and doctor appointment on March 1.  It’s been nine weeks, the longest between scans since diagnosis.  If all goes well, appointments will stay at nine weeks.  Thinking positively. I’m grateful for research, genomic testing, and targeted therapy drugs in clinical trials.

That’s me.  Finding joy in the everyday every day here in our winter home on the mountainside with Dan, the three little dachshunds, and Dottie and Matilda, Nigerian Dwarf goats.

 

Sharing the Journey

I can’t imagine traveling this cancer road alone.  No one should ever, ever have to.  I’m so very grateful that I’ll never have to.  In fact, my family has grown through this journey.  This struck me again today when the caregiver wife of a ROS1der posted a heartfelt and loving message to us all. While I’ve never met any of the ROS1ders, I feel incredibly close to them in the 22 months since I found the facebook group established for cancer patients who are ROS1+.  This family has nearly tripled since I found it, and is worldwide.

The ROS1der FaceBook group is a closed group (public site: ros1cancer.com), and I cannot share the details of that lovely post or anyone’s specific information, but  I can share what makes them my “family”.   Most, but not all, have lung cancer. Most, not all, have metastasized cancer.  Most, not all, have been on the drug  Xalkori crizotinib, my treatment hero, the reason I survived long enough to even call this a journey.  Many, maybe most, are younger than me, many with children at home.  Many have had treatments that I’ve not had.  Many are in clinical trials, some on the same drug as me (lorlatinb – hero drug #2), some on other targeted therapy drugs that are giving hope to ROS1ders.  All are either ROS1+ or the caregiver of someone who has ROS1+ cancer as required to be a group member.   Because of all we do have in common, there is always someone who understands, or can relate to, what another is experiencing.  Beyond that even, there’s just such a feeling of empathy and sincere caring about one another’s well being in the group.  In this group we share information, learn how different oncologists approach different topics, hear about procedures and tests as described by the patient, get the latest news on clinical trials and research, share tips about dealing with side effects and symptoms, options for and how to access healthcare/treatment, and so much more.

I’ve tried to think what it is that makes this family so very special compared to other organizations I’ve been part of and even considered family. I believe it is the never-ending optimism, the incredibly high level of HOPE, STRENGTH, COURAGE, and FAITH.  The people in this group have so many (not every!) reasons to feel and speak only doom and gloom, but not in this family.  Our fears, worries, and sadness can be freely expressed and we know they will be responded to with caring and genuine concern.  It is a safe place.  This is a difficult road to travel.  Love, compassion and support, research and answers, virtual shoulders to cry on and hands to hold are all offered.   Always, always with an eye on a future where, if not a cure, then treatment for managing cancer as a chronic disease, always HOPE.

My ROS1der family, a FaceBook group. Who knew I’d find such camaraderie in such a place.  Huh.  Another of the countless blessings that have come my way on this journey.  May every human needing such a place, find theirs.

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Thursday, December 28, 2017 Update

Great news, again!  Right up there with some of the best news I’ve had since beginning this journey.  Writing this in our hotel room, a block from the most wonderful cancer institute in the world, Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.  Wonderful: inspiring delight, pleasure, or admiration; extremely good; marvelous.  Yes, wonderful! Regardless of the news I might receive from them, they certainly have inspired admiration from me, data shows their work is extremely good, and the people we’ve met there are delightful and quite marvelous in their treatment of patients and caregivers.

Back to my news!  Stable from the neck down, AND (drum roll please) an 84% reduction of the nasty beast in my brain meninges since beginning my second wonder drug Lorlatinib in July.

Today was another long day for us.  We stayed in Portland last night to make sure we would arrive at Dana-Farber for a 10:30 AM start.  At 10:30 PM the fire alarm went off in the hall of the motel last night.  Some kid had burned his popcorn in a microwave.  We didn’t have to go outside luckily. Today began with “free” breakfast at 6:00 AM, followed by a very quick 2.5 hour drive to Boston.  No morning traffic – unlike any other day we’ve gone.  Vacation I guess. We even parked on P4 instead of P6 of the underground parking garage!

My appointments were all the “usual”:  IV in, blood draw, CT scans of chest and abdomen on L1 in the Dana Building, brain MRI and IV out on Dana 3 , grab some lunch (Yawkey 3), check vitals, EKG, Dr. appointment (Yawkey 10), and wait for medication (Yawkey 2). Done at 4:00 PM. Nothing to it!

Here’s more great news – I am scheduled to return to Dana-Farber on March 1, 2018.  Nine weeks!!  Yes, nine.  That is the longest between appointments in the 23 months I’ve been a patient at Dana-Farber.  Wow! Now, will I be nervous about that? I don’t think so.  I know my body, and the difference between symptoms and side effects pretty well now.  And, my clinical trial nurse and oncologist are just a phone call or 5 hour drive away!

Hey, I forgot something very important in my post about Procedures and Tests !  When they put the contrast dye in your IV during scans, you get the warm feeling and would think that you wet yourself if not forewarned.  Thought about that one today when…

For me, 2017 has been the year I began to learn to LIVE with metastatic lung cancer, helping to create new statistics, and bring hope to those diagnosed with this disease that still currently kills 433 Americans every day. We can, are, and will continue to do so much better. There is great hope for the newly diagnosed.

Happy New Year to all our family and friends, new and  not so new!  Your positive thoughts, love, and prayers continue to help give me the strength needed for this journey.  Please test your home for radon this year if you’ve not yet done so.

Looking forward to us going home to the dachshunds and goats, comfy and cozy for the winter, feeling grateful, and finding joy in the everyday every day!

 

Privileged

Privilege, privileged – the word has come to my mind a lot lately as I think about my treatment and healthcare compared to others’. The “others” I speak of in this case all have access to healthcare, so I guess they too are ”privileged“: a special benefit that is available only to a particular person or group.  (macmillandictionary.com)  Many people in our world do not belong to the Access to Healthcare Club at all.

My mind begins to confuse the definitions and ways the word privilege is used as I consider my lung cancer treatment. The definition above doesn’t tell anything about the person or group, but in this case privilege feels good and not so good.

I definitely feel it is a privilege (something nice that you feel lucky to have) to have qualified for a clinical trial at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.  It feels really nice and lucky to be there.  We work(ed) hard to get there (years of employment earning health insurance, paying fully for that health insurance now that I can no longer work, driving to Dana-Farber (250 miles one way), and on and on…  But it is a privilege that even someone WITH health insurance living in some regions of THIS country cannot access.  Clinical trials for my targeted therapy drug Lorlatinib are only available in a few places in the country. This drug targets only two very specific gene mutations/drivers(more on how cancer cell mutations happen), ALK(in 3-7% of NonSmall Cell Lung cancer) and ROS1(1-2%). We are lucky drugs are being developed for such a small number.

Today Lorlatinib may be available for Compassionate Use (Expanded Access), but it was very difficult to acquire in this manner until recently (now that it is near FDA approval.) I know this because not long ago one of the “others” with ROS1 developed resistance to crizotinib, the only FDA approved targeted therapy drug for ROS1. (Have I ever said that because of this mutation, standard treatments don’t work?) So, after crizotinib stops working, a ROS1 lung cancer patient has little hope unless she can get into a clinical trial. This patient lives in a region where there was not access to a trial.  Drive to one, fly to one you say! Not if the person is not well enough to do so or hasn’t the financial resources to do so. Maybe she doesn’t quite meet the criteria.  How about compassionate use you ask?  Not available in this case. What?!!?  Time’s running out.  In this instance, the last I knew lung cancer patient advocates began reaching out to the drug company and the ROS1 experts in an effort to acquire treatment for this patient.  I was not able to learn if help came in time.

Privilege: a special benefit that is available only to a particular person or group

I belong to a FaceBook group for ROS1 patients from all over the world.  Nearly all are lung cancer patients. We are able to share information and learn from one another.  I’ve found it immensely helpful in my search for understanding of this disease.  This group is available only to ROS1+patients and their caregivers. A privilege that is available to anyone who would need/want it, if they have internet access, and can read and understand the information.

Even those with the education, reasonable financial resources, and health care access cannot assume the privilege of receiving my level of treatment.  Lorlatinib isn’t available in all parts of the world.  And, the newest of these drugs ( Tyrosine kinase inhibitors)that treat ROS1, entrecinib, isn’t available even through clinical trial right next door in Canada, according to an “other”. (That will still make only 3 drugs, 1FDA approved, to treat ROS1, and those pesky cancer cells really know how to build resistance to the drugs.)

I know what it was like before my first targeted therapy drug.  I was dying.  I did not build resistance to it (but had brain progression).  I am privileged to be treated in a facility where I have scans regularly, where I know when I have a symptom (such as with the brain progression) it will be looked into quickly, where treatments are known and available, where a plan is ready if cancer overpowers the drug.   I know of an “other” , living in another country, who died while waiting for treatment to arrive.  I am so sorry this happened.

Without the many privileges I enjoy I wouldn’t be here, drinking tea by the Christmas tree, wood fire warming the room, still trying to sort the good and bad of the definitions of a word as it applies to my experience with healthcare.  I know the circumstances of my life (from childhood and education to the love and support of Dan and our family)  have equipped me to access the best level of treatment.  But does that mean I should be privileged, should belong to the club when “others” with the same needs are allowed to die because they can’t access the correct treatment?  A treatment that IS available, but not accessible for that person.   I can’t change the world, but gosh, at least in our country, it seems like access to known lifesaving healthcare should not be a privilege.

And, by the way, have you heard me say lately that LUNG cancer research is way underfunded?  It is the deadliest (433 Americans per day) and least funded when compared to the other common cancers.  I’m making my voice heard to my representatives, and urge others to do the same.  Oh yes, and radon is the second leading cause of lung cancer – just thought I’d get that in there.

I’m privileged to be able to serve on the Family and Patient Advisory Council of the Maine Lung Cancer Coalition MLCC.  More on this work later.

Finding joy in the everyday im my cozy home, making memories, and loving life with Dan, family, 3 little dachshunds, and 2 Nigerian dwarf goats – that’s me, living a life of 

 

Lucky to be me!

Try to imagine that you’re hiking along life’s trail, happy go lucky as can be and then you find yourself slowing to a walk and then a crawl.  That’s kind of what happened to me in the fall of 2015.  Despite the house fire recovery, things were good, and then they weren’t.

I’m lucky! For lots of reasons. I’m really grateful to the FNP or PA who saw me on that Sunday at the walk-in clinic.  She did the x-ray that led to the discovery of my lung cancer tumor.  If not for her, I’m not sure help would have come soon enough, I was crawling that slowly.  But I am so fortunate that she knew to do that x-ray that day.

And then There I was at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute barely crawling (Dan thought it was time for a wheelchair) to my radiation sessions (that were for palliative care while they were developing my treatment plan) when I found out just how lucky I really am.  I am LUCKY! My cancer, at that time already spread to my liver and pelvis, was treatable with a targeted therapy drug.  Yes, that’s right. TREATABLE!  Not sure about others, but Dan and I knew that I wasn’t going to be crawling much longer if something didn’t change, so hearing that word treatable made us feel blessed indeed.

Great Educational Reading on lung cancer, genetic mutations, target therapy treatment, and more!

Back to lucky me!!  Thanks to the testing done by Dana-Farber and Brighams it was discovered as quickly as could be that the lung cancer in my body is driven by a cell mutation called ROS1.  While ROS1 is what caused the rapid spread, it is one of a few mutations that can be battled with a targeted therapy drug that truly targets those ROS1 cancer cells and not all cells like chemotherapy does. It was available at that time for expanded access, not quite FDA approved.   And, it is a pill that you take.  I am lucky.  I was dying and in just a few days the crizotinib began to work.  I started the drug on March 2 ,2016 and check out how different my lung looked by May.  (Feb.,even after radiation on right, May on left)

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Told you I’m lucky!  I’ve had two years since cancer crept into my body and ROS1 slammed me. Great years filled with blessings beyond thinking. If not hiking, definitely walking at a good pace and feeling pretty darn good.

Still lucky! After 16 months on crizotinib, the cancer progressed to my brain meninges. Crizotinib does not protect the brain, so when one of those little cells sneak by…  Researchers had developed a newer drug that battles ROS1 that does fight in the brain, and I was eligible for a Phase II clinical trial at Dana-Farber.  Lucky!!! This drug too will soon be FDA approved.  It is a pill taken once per day.  Since July Lorlatinib has kept everything from the neck down looking the same in scans, and it has reduced the cancer in the meninges by 75%.  Lucky, blessed, fortunate – give me a thesaurus – I’m that.

Research doctors are working on the next line of treatment to work against ROS1 when it figures out the code for this treatment and builds resistance.  I, and so many others with acquired cell mutations such as ROS1, are SO grateful.

Saying I’m lucky implies that it’s all by chance.  I know that’s not so.  Something more than chance is at work here.  I’m grateful every moment of every day.

Update, November 16, 2017

Now that I can no longer post to carepages, I will do my updates here.  We’ll miss carepages, first introduced to us when our grandson was born at Brighams and whisked (with mom) away to Children’s where he had his first of a few heart surgeries.  He’s a very healthy, athletic eleven year old!  But then, and now, we needed a way to update and communicate easily with friends and family.  So, thanks carepage!

GREAT NEWS! Lorlatinib is working for me.  75% reduction of the cancer in my meninges!  I am having no symptoms from the cancer in my brain.  I am having some minimal side effects from the lorlatinib doing its job in my brain.  Lorlatinib is also controlling the cancer in other places of my body as well as my hero Xalkori Crizotinib did. High cholesterol is a side effect of the drug, so my Crestor has once again been increased, but I’ve been assured that this can be managed and wouldn’t be a reason to stop the lorlatinib. Whew!  So, at the lower dose from when I began, it is still effective for me!

Dan and I drove to Boston Wednesday for the Thursday appointment.  Our first test was at 6:30 AM.  We were finished for the day at 2:45 PM and then Dan had to drive home in the pouring rain.  Traffic was heavy heading out of the city, and then visibility was terrible on the highway. It got dark while still on the interstate.   We stopped for a quick dinner and break in S. Portland, Between Augusta and Belfast it was mixed precipitation. But finally at 9:20 PM we pulled into the driveway, safe and sound.  Dan’s my hero, always.  The greeting by the three little dachshunds was as wonderful and crazy as always.

We are ever so grateful to/for everyone at Dana-Farber, everyone in lung cancer research, and our family for jumping in so we can travel.